Woke up with a terrible hangover - postponed trip for a few hours in order to give brain a chance to recover. Eventually drove to Canberra where we stayed with Lothlorian. Em came over and the drinking resumed (hair of the dog). Against my better judgment, decided to share Loth's bed - was woken by raving drunk redhead at 3:30 am as she crashed onto the floor whilst trying to cross the room. Fell asleep again to the sound of hiccupping.
Day 2 - 06/02/05
Set off down the Hume Highway headed for Melbourne. Stopped for a Devonshire tea at the Dog on the Tuckerbox in Gundagai - didn't stay long for fear of having to listen to another round of true blue Aussie hits ("The Pub With No Beer", "Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport" etc.).
Unfortunately, I was unable to prevent Kenneth from reading the Lonely Planet guidebook's glossary, and the dropbear myth was dispelled (Dropbear - imaginary Australian bush creature, similar in faunal fiction status to the 'Womby-dog' (which has clockwise and counter-clockwise breeds)).
Further down the road, was slightly disturbed to see the Hume Highway Skydiving School - dozens of inexperienced skydivers leaping from planes directly above a national motorway.
Was even more disturbed by the road signs placed in the middle of nowhere (certainly not near any rest stops) giving helpful advice such as "Tired? Have a powernap NOW!"
Arrived in Wangaratta (Nick Cave's hometown) in time for dinner. Received some odd looks from passing motorists as I posed for photos in front of Nick Cave's primary school whilst wearing my Akubra hat.
Finally made it to Melbourne - almost the first thing we passed was "Sexyland Adult Superstore" - an enormous, brightly lit porn warehouse displaying a variety of blow-up dolls in the windows. Mmm, classy.
Found a semi-seedy backpacker hostel and crashed there for the night.
Day 3 - 07/02/05
Melbourne - shopping, trams and cafes. Had tea at Hollie's place, met cousin Kellie for coffee, then drove to Geelong (a pathetically short distance, but wanted to feel that we were covering ground). We arrived at the caravan park after closing time, but had been instructed over the phone to just head up to the manager's residency to check in. Apparently the manager had not been expecting us, as after we had been knocking on the door for a fair while, a door on the side of the house opened to reveal a lady sitting on the toilet with her pants around her ankles. "Oh, hello, can I help you?", she called out casually, as if everything were normal.
Well, what more would you expect from a state full of people who advise you to take powernaps in the middle of the highway?
Day 4 - 08/02/05
Set out along the Great Ocean Road. Stopped at all the mandatory tourist attractions, including the Twelve Apostles. The combination of heavy rain and faulty windscreen wipers left us with no option but to stop in Warnambool for the night. Abandoned all ridiculous ideas of tents and camp food and found a luxurious hostel and takeaway noodle bar.
Day 5 - 09/02/05
Drove the remaining stretch of the Great Ocean Road. Saw more touristy sights including a petrified forest and numerous blow holes. Spotted some wildlife - emus, an echidna, and, strangely enough, a herd of yaks.
Drove past Larry the Big Lobster - undoubtedly the highlight of our journey up until that point. I knew that my plan to look like a complete tourist had come to fruition when Kenneth made us pull over to photograph the monstrosity.
Stopped for petrol in a very sleepy town where the store owner implied that I look middle-aged by asking if I have had the car since new (my car is a '71 Beetle).
Continued driving, intending to reach Cape Jervis in order to catch the ferry to Kangaroo Island. Evidently we missed en exit somewhere, as we ended up in Adelaide. Guess you can expect that sort of thing to happen when you don't bother to buy maps.
Day 6 - 10/02/05
Decided to take the car for a final pre-desert service, as we'd been having trouble with the ignition. Turned out that the only problem with the ignition is that the key has to be turned a bit further than in normal cars. Didn't we feel stupid...
Went to a cafe overlooking Henley Beach, where we met up with two Aussie friends from Denmark, Tim & Thea, and their 3 1/2-month-old son, Jacob. Possibly overdosed on the coffee, as I ended up a little wired.
Day 7 - 11/02/05
Missed the morning ferry to Kangaroo Island, so went to a nearby winery and sampled almost all their products. Spent the remainder of the afternoon in a town called Yankalilla. A bumper sticker on a passing ute said it all: "Where the hell is Yankalilla?" The area seemed to have a rather odd way of combining health food stores with other stores - in a short space of time we passed both a "Furniture and Health Food" store and "Gymnasium, Health Food and Kites" store.
Caught the afternoon ferry and camped in Flinders Chase National Park, where there were plenty of kangaroos, wallabies and possums to keep Kenneth amused. It was not long before I discovered yet another hole in my ancient air mattress and resigned myself to the fact that another night was to be spent on the ground.
Day 8 - 12/02/05
Spent the best part of the day looking for cute, furry animals. When we weren't looking at the decidedly unremarkable "Remarkable Rocks", climbing the 511 steps to Prospect Hill lookout or watching sheep being milked at the local cheese factory, we were busy spotting koalas, wallabies, goannas and New Zealand Fur Seals.
Day 9 - 13/02/05
Woke up in Adelaide's Blue Galah Hostel thinking that we still had plenty of time to catch the free breakfast, only to be told that breakfast was over. At this point, we began to see a pattern forming. This was the fifth time that we had missed or almost missed something since arriving in Adelaide, despite the fact that we had allowed ample time. Was it that everything in Adelaide happened ahead of schedule? Or could it be that Adelaide was in a different time zone? Obviously, it was the latter. At that point I was reminded of the time in Thailand when we had advertised the fact that we were stupid white tourists by yelling "Happy New Year!" at 23:00 (midnight Malaysian time).
And so, a little later than planned, we set off for the Barossa Valley for some wine tasting. Several glasses later, we returned to the city and put ourselves and the car (Doug the Bug) on a train called The Ghan, and embarked on an 18 hour journey to Alice Springs.
Day 10 - 14/02/05
Arrived in Alice around midday. Too exhausted to drive, so decided to spend the night in the town. Found a gorgeous camping ground filled with kangaroos, rock wallabies, red dirt and a swimming pool. Finished off the evening with a couple of beers in the on-site tavern (could the place be an more ideal?) and went to sleep on a new, hole-free mattress.
Day 11 - 15/02/05
Started off the day with the "Aboriginal Dreamtime and Bush Tucker Tour". Attempted to throw a boomerang (without much success) and sampled witchetty grub (surprisingly tasty - not dissimilar to runny egg yolk). Refreshed after a some "spotted dog" damper and a cup of bush tea, we jumped back in the car and headed off towards Uluru. This was the Beetle's first real desert challenge. The car actually fared remarkably well. I, on the other hand, did not. As I had a terrible cold and wasn't feeling very well, I had taken a cold and flu tablet. Not sure if it was that or the heat that did it, but after a couple of hours of driving, I stepped out of the car and started having hallucinations of the road swirling around and being sucked into itself. Probably a good thing that we swapped drivers at that point. We arrived at Yulara in the afternoon and went to watch the sun setting over Uluru - a spectacular sight, as the rock changes from orange to red and then a greyish purple as the sun goes down.
Day 12 - 16/02/05
Had a relaxed morning lounging by the pool before going to see Kata Tjuta (The Olgas). Went for a short but exhausting walk through a gorge between the rocks - the view was stunning, but the 41 degree heat and flies unbearable. Saw what looked a lot like a human skeleton lying in a dry creek bed... Headed back to Alice, and became a little concerned following a conversation with a service station attendant, who had brightly asked us whether the Beetle had set on fire yet and told us about how they were notorious for this - she had previously owned one and the battery had caught alight. Arrived safely in the town (no fires broke out along the way) and got beds in a cozy hostel.
Day 13 - 17/02/05
The first thing we did after leaving the hostel was to purchase a fire extinguisher. The shop attendant confirmed what we had been told the previous night - he himself had owned several Beetles, ALL of which had caught fire. "Great cars though", he assured me.... Well, we'll see.
As much as we would have liked to have seen more of Alice Springs (especially 'Alice 24 Store Laundromat', which was listed in the 'Sights and Activities' section of the Lonely Planet guide), we were pressed for time and unfortunately couldn't stay, and set off again towards the Devil's Marbles. Kenneth tried to drive me insane on the journey by playing Romanian dance music.
Along the highway, we noted that the ratio of pubs to petrol stations was alarmingly high. It did, however, explain the number of hospitals that could be found along the same road.
Arrived at the Devil's Marbles and pitched out tents. The heat was insufferable, making sleep difficult.
Day 14 - 18/02/05
Upon unzipping our tents in the morning, we were engulfed by a swarm of flies. Took some quick happy snaps before getting the hell out of there. About 100 km down the road, arrived in Tennant Creek, where we pulled into the visitor's centre to have breakfast. It was then pointed out by Kenneth that I was driving in the garden rather than the carpark, and thus, a new rule was created: "Elena is not to drive before having her morning coffee". I felt I was in no position to object. Initially, we had been considering spending a couple of hours in the town, despite the write up it had been given by the Lonely Planet guide authors ("Many travellers spend a night here to break up the journey and see the town's few attractions", "About 7 km north of the Mary Ann Dam are the green-roofed stone buildings of the old telegraph station, even now looking as isolated and forlorn as they must have 100 years ago"). However, after a brief glimpse of the town centre, we decided to skip the few attractions and forlorn telegraph station and continued our drive.
Late evening, we arrived in Mt Isa - minin' country.
Day 15 - 19/02/05
Continued our journey east. Once again, Doug the Bug was mercilessly blown about by the wind (not a particularly streamlined car). Stopped for lunch in Julia Creek, home of the "Dirt and Dust Festival'. Had counter meals at the local yokel pub, where Akubra hats were mandatory attire. When I ordered a glass of water from the bar, the man next to me began laughing so hysterically that he was incapable of speech. Whilst Kenneth was captivated by the whole hicktown experience, I couldn't get out of there fast enough. As darkness approached, we decided that it was too dangerous to continue driving due to the risk of hitting kangaroos, so stopped in ex-mining town Charters Towers for the night. Found a nice looking hostel, where the door was opened by a naked old man. Why do we seem to attract these crazy people?!?
Day 16 - 20/02/05
Got up and said farewell to the now clothed man before continuing the drive. After having a closer read of the Lonely Planet guide, began to wonder whether our trip to Townsville had been researched quite as well as it could have been. Discovered that not only can the sea be muddy in February (being the middle of the wet season), but it can also be full of stingers, and unless you are prepared to risk death by box jellyfish, full-body lycra suits (complete with gloves and hood) must be worn. Arrived safely in Townsville, much to Kenneth's disappointment - he had been hoping for at least a minor breakdown in the desert, just to add that element of danger to the whole Oz experience. Caught the afternoon ferry to Magnetic Island, where we stayed in a nightclub/hostel. After having been in the desert, it was wonderful to lie on the beach, cocktail in hand, watching the palm trees swaying in the breeze. I slept soundly, apart from waking up terrified as a man ran up and down the veranda yelling, "I'm going to kill you with my woomera!"
Day 17 - 21/02/05
Lazed about all morning, then walked to Picnic Bay and had delicious crepes and "best coffee" for lunch. Were followed back to the hostel by a small dog, and had to call the local dog catcher. Swam at the beach inside a stinger net (felt as if we were in a giant kiddy wading pool), then went for a horseride along the beach. Were even able to take the horses swimming - this had to be done bareback and wearing stinger suits. Caught the ferry back to Townsville, where we had dinner at an excellent place called the Brewery Cafe, where, as the name suggests, they brew their own beer. Sampled all the different varieties before returning to the hostel.
Day 18 - 22/02/05
Received a morning call from the diving company advising that our planned trip to the Great Barrier Reef that evening had to be cancelled due to boat troubles. Bugger. Spent the morning running about like madmen trying to find an alternative. Eventually found a trip leaving from Airlie Beach (about 400 km south of Townsville) that evening. Before setting out, decided to empty the water containers - as we were now out of the desert, there was no reason to carry around an extra 50 l of water. Upon opening the bonnet, I discovered that Kenneth had actually only filled up one of the bottles, rather than both as he had claimed to have done. When confronted, he calmly explained that most likely he had accidentally emptied the first bottle before filling up the second. This explanation did not strike me as logical or believable, and I think it far more feasible that he had just been trying to taste a little of that danger he so craved. That evening, we set out on our 3 day reef cruise. Until that day, I'd never known whether or not I was susceptible to sea sickness. It was not long until I discovered that indeed I was. Spent the best part of the night groaning and running out onto the deck for air. Felt sorry for poor Kenneth, who was sharing a room with me.
Day 19 - 23/02/05
Sailing was much less nauseating than the previous day, thanks to a kind Canadian who loaded me up with motion sickness tablets. Went snorkelling and saw lots of colourful fishes and coral.
Day 20 - 24/02/05
More sunbathing and snorkelling. Saw a Whitetip Reef Shark and a turtle. Played lots of Trivial Pursuit and consequently learnt lots of useless facts (e.g. Elton John was married on 24/02/84 - hurrah).
Day 21 - 25/02/05
Woken at the crack of dawn for our last chance to see the reef before heading back to town. Saw another 3 sharks whilst snorkelling. Meanwhile, Kenneth was taking an underwater naturalist (not to be confused with 'naturist') diving course. At least, that's what he claimed to have been doing when he returned to the boat with a slate covered in drawings of creatures resembling blobby dinosaurs. Arrived back in Airlie Beach (tourist central) in the afternoon. Kenneth was exhausted by the time we arrived at the camping ground, so I offered to blow up his air mattress for him. Was a little overzealous with the tyre pump, and blew it up just a little more literally than intended.
Day 22 - 26/02/05
Decided to put the accuracy of the fuel gauge to the test. Almost made it to our destination before the car shuddered then came to a complete stop. Thank god for the jerry can. Spent the night in Rockhampton.
Day 23 - 27/02/05
Drove through Gin Gin - Kenneth was most disappointed that he couldn't find a pub at which to purchase a gin. Continued to Bundaberg, where we visited the Rum Distillery. After the half hour long informative feature (barrage of advertisements), we had been so brainwashed that we were both left craving Bundy rum before the tour had even begun. Spent the night at Mon Repos Beach, where we went turtle watching. Were most fortunate to see not only little hatchlings bursting from the dunes and running down the beach, but also a mature turtle nesting.
Day 24 - 28/02/05
Had lunch in exclusive Noosa. Ate in a beachfront yuppie cafe, where I was very pleased to be served exactly what I had wanted - a trendily small tower of gourmet salad balanced on a ludicrously oversized plate. Continued driving to Brisbane, where we spent the night with cousin Mark and his two daughters, Mia and Matisse.
Day 25 - 01/03/05
Crikey! Went to the Glasshouse Mountains to visit the Australia Zoo, home of Aussie icon Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter. With the end of our trip fast approaching, we had to continue heading south after leaving the zoo. I admit that we may have seemed a tad odd driving through Brisbane in a beaten up buggy with Indiana Jones music blasting from the subwoofer, but I felt that the woman at the service station asking whether it was the ladies toilets I wanted the key to (as opposed to the mens) was unjustified. Attempted to get a few hundred kilometres closer to Sydney, but due to confusing street signs and wrong turns, only made it as far as ex-convict town Ipswich (practically a suburb of Brisbane).
Day 26 - 02/03/05
Drove to Armidale. That's about it.
Day 27 - 03/03/05
Last day of the trip. Stopped for photos at the Big Golden Guitar in Tamworth (our last big thing - hurrah!) Drove right through the Hunter Valley region without even stopping at a single winery - a great shame. And so, after 27 days, 10 626 km and a hell of a lot of money, we were back in Sydney.
Roadtrip Top 7 Creeks
7. Tin Can Creek
6. Sausage Creek
5. Dunducketty Creek
4. Dead Man Gully
3. Poison Swamp Creek
2. Accommodation Creek
1. Little Doughboy Hollow
