Day 1 - 05/02/05
Woke up with a terrible hangover - postponed trip for a few hours in order to give brain a chance to recover. Eventually drove to Canberra where we stayed with Lothlorian. Em came over and the drinking resumed (hair of the dog). Against my better judgment, decided to share Loth's bed - was woken by raving drunk redhead at 3:30 am as she crashed onto the floor whilst trying to cross the room. Fell asleep again to the sound of hiccupping.



Day 2 - 06/02/05
Set off down the Hume Highway headed for Melbourne. Stopped for a Devonshire tea at the Dog on the Tuckerbox in Gundagai - didn't stay long for fear of having to listen to another round of true blue Aussie hits ("The Pub With No Beer", "Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport" etc.).
Unfortunately, I was unable to prevent Kenneth from reading the Lonely Planet guidebook's glossary, and the dropbear myth was dispelled (Dropbear - imaginary Australian bush creature, similar in faunal fiction status to the 'Womby-dog' (which has clockwise and counter-clockwise breeds)).
Further down the road, was slightly disturbed to see the Hume Highway Skydiving School - dozens of inexperienced skydivers leaping from planes directly above a national motorway.
Was even more disturbed by the road signs placed in the middle of nowhere (certainly not near any rest stops) giving helpful advice such as "Tired? Have a powernap NOW!"
Arrived in Wangaratta (Nick Cave's hometown) in time for dinner. Received some odd looks from passing motorists as I posed for photos in front of Nick Cave's primary school whilst wearing my Akubra hat.
Finally made it to Melbourne - almost the first thing we passed was "Sexyland Adult Superstore" - an enormous, brightly lit porn warehouse displaying a variety of blow-up dolls in the windows. Mmm, classy.
Found a semi-seedy backpacker hostel and crashed there for the night.



Day 3 - 07/02/05
Melbourne - shopping, trams and cafes. Had tea at Hollie's place, met cousin Kellie for coffee, then drove to Geelong (a pathetically short distance, but wanted to feel that we were covering ground). We arrived at the caravan park after closing time, but had been instructed over the phone to just head up to the manager's residency to check in. Apparently the manager had not been expecting us, as after we had been knocking on the door for a fair while, a door on the side of the house opened to reveal a lady sitting on the toilet with her pants around her ankles. "Oh, hello, can I help you?", she called out casually, as if everything were normal.
Well, what more would you expect from a state full of people who advise you to take powernaps in the middle of the highway?



Day 4 - 08/02/05
Set out along the Great Ocean Road. Stopped at all the mandatory tourist attractions, including the Twelve Apostles. The combination of heavy rain and faulty windscreen wipers left us with no option but to stop in Warnambool for the night. Abandoned all ridiculous ideas of tents and camp food and found a luxurious hostel and takeaway noodle bar.



Day 5 - 09/02/05
Drove the remaining stretch of the Great Ocean Road. Saw more touristy sights including a petrified forest and numerous blow holes. Spotted some wildlife - emus, an echidna, and, strangely enough, a herd of yaks.
Drove past Larry the Big Lobster - undoubtedly the highlight of our journey up until that point. I knew that my plan to look like a complete tourist had come to fruition when Kenneth made us pull over to photograph the monstrosity.
Stopped for petrol in a very sleepy town where the store owner implied that I look middle-aged by asking if I have had the car since new (my car is a '71 Beetle).
Continued driving, intending to reach Cape Jervis in order to catch the ferry to Kangaroo Island. Evidently we missed en exit somewhere, as we ended up in Adelaide. Guess you can expect that sort of thing to happen when you don't bother to buy maps.



Day 6 - 10/02/05
Decided to take the car for a final pre-desert service, as we'd been having trouble with the ignition. Turned out that the only problem with the ignition is that the key has to be turned a bit further than in normal cars. Didn't we feel stupid...
Went to a cafe overlooking Henley Beach, where we met up with two Aussie friends from Denmark, Tim & Thea, and their 3 1/2-month-old son, Jacob. Possibly overdosed on the coffee, as I ended up a little wired.

Day 7 - 11/02/05
Missed the morning ferry to Kangaroo Island, so went to a nearby winery and sampled almost all their products. Spent the remainder of the afternoon in a town called Yankalilla. A bumper sticker on a passing ute said it all: "Where the hell is Yankalilla?" The area seemed to have a rather odd way of combining health food stores with other stores - in a short space of time we passed both a "Furniture and Health Food" store and "Gymnasium, Health Food and Kites" store.
Caught the afternoon ferry and camped in Flinders Chase National Park, where there were plenty of kangaroos, wallabies and possums to keep Kenneth amused. It was not long before I discovered yet another hole in my ancient air mattress and resigned myself to the fact that another night was to be spent on the ground.



Day 8 - 12/02/05
Spent the best part of the day looking for cute, furry animals. When we weren't looking at the decidedly unremarkable "Remarkable Rocks", climbing the 511 steps to Prospect Hill lookout or watching sheep being milked at the local cheese factory, we were busy spotting koalas, wallabies, goannas and New Zealand Fur Seals.



Day 9 - 13/02/05
Woke up in Adelaide's Blue Galah Hostel thinking that we still had plenty of time to catch the free breakfast, only to be told that breakfast was over. At this point, we began to see a pattern forming. This was the fifth time that we had missed or almost missed something since arriving in Adelaide, despite the fact that we had allowed ample time. Was it that everything in Adelaide happened ahead of schedule? Or could it be that Adelaide was in a different time zone? Obviously, it was the latter. At that point I was reminded of the time in Thailand when we had advertised the fact that we were stupid white tourists by yelling "Happy New Year!" at 23:00 (midnight Malaysian time).
And so, a little later than planned, we set off for the Barossa Valley for some wine tasting. Several glasses later, we returned to the city and put ourselves and the car (Doug the Bug) on a train called The Ghan, and embarked on an 18 hour journey to Alice Springs.

Day 10 - 14/02/05
Arrived in Alice around midday. Too exhausted to drive, so decided to spend the night in the town. Found a gorgeous camping ground filled with kangaroos, rock wallabies, red dirt and a swimming pool. Finished off the evening with a couple of beers in the on-site tavern (could the place be an more ideal?) and went to sleep on a new, hole-free mattress.

Day 11 - 15/02/05
Started off the day with the "Aboriginal Dreamtime and Bush Tucker Tour". Attempted to throw a boomerang (without much success) and sampled witchetty grub (surprisingly tasty - not dissimilar to runny egg yolk). Refreshed after a some "spotted dog" damper and a cup of bush tea, we jumped back in the car and headed off towards Uluru. This was the Beetle's first real desert challenge. The car actually fared remarkably well. I, on the other hand, did not. As I had a terrible cold and wasn't feeling very well, I had taken a cold and flu tablet. Not sure if it was that or the heat that did it, but after a couple of hours of driving, I stepped out of the car and started having hallucinations of the road swirling around and being sucked into itself. Probably a good thing that we swapped drivers at that point. We arrived at Yulara in the afternoon and went to watch the sun setting over Uluru - a spectacular sight, as the rock changes from orange to red and then a greyish purple as the sun goes down.

Day 12 - 16/02/05
Had a relaxed morning lounging by the pool before going to see Kata Tjuta (The Olgas). Went for a short but exhausting walk through a gorge between the rocks - the view was stunning, but the 41 degree heat and flies unbearable. Saw what looked a lot like a human skeleton lying in a dry creek bed... Headed back to Alice, and became a little concerned following a conversation with a service station attendant, who had brightly asked us whether the Beetle had set on fire yet and told us about how they were notorious for this - she had previously owned one and the battery had caught alight. Arrived safely in the town (no fires broke out along the way) and got beds in a cozy hostel.

Day 13 - 17/02/05
The first thing we did after leaving the hostel was to purchase a fire extinguisher. The shop attendant confirmed what we had been told the previous night - he himself had owned several Beetles, ALL of which had caught fire. "Great cars though", he assured me.... Well, we'll see.
As much as we would have liked to have seen more of Alice Springs (especially 'Alice 24 Store Laundromat', which was listed in the 'Sights and Activities' section of the Lonely Planet guide), we were pressed for time and unfortunately couldn't stay, and set off again towards the Devil's Marbles. Kenneth tried to drive me insane on the journey by playing Romanian dance music.
Along the highway, we noted that the ratio of pubs to petrol stations was alarmingly high. It did, however, explain the number of hospitals that could be found along the same road.
Arrived at the Devil's Marbles and pitched out tents. The heat was insufferable, making sleep difficult.

Day 14 - 18/02/05
Upon unzipping our tents in the morning, we were engulfed by a swarm of flies. Took some quick happy snaps before getting the hell out of there. About 100 km down the road, arrived in Tennant Creek, where we pulled into the visitor's centre to have breakfast. It was then pointed out by Kenneth that I was driving in the garden rather than the carpark, and thus, a new rule was created: "Elena is not to drive before having her morning coffee". I felt I was in no position to object. Initially, we had been considering spending a couple of hours in the town, despite the write up it had been given by the Lonely Planet guide authors ("Many travellers spend a night here to break up the journey and see the town's few attractions", "About 7 km north of the Mary Ann Dam are the green-roofed stone buildings of the old telegraph station, even now looking as isolated and forlorn as they must have 100 years ago"). However, after a brief glimpse of the town centre, we decided to skip the few attractions and forlorn telegraph station and continued our drive.
Late evening, we arrived in Mt Isa - minin' country.

Day 15 - 19/02/05
Continued our journey east. Once again, Doug the Bug was mercilessly blown about by the wind (not a particularly streamlined car). Stopped for lunch in Julia Creek, home of the "Dirt and Dust Festival'. Had counter meals at the local yokel pub, where Akubra hats were mandatory attire. When I ordered a glass of water from the bar, the man next to me began laughing so hysterically that he was incapable of speech. Whilst Kenneth was captivated by the whole hicktown experience, I couldn't get out of there fast enough. As darkness approached, we decided that it was too dangerous to continue driving due to the risk of hitting kangaroos, so stopped in ex-mining town Charters Towers for the night. Found a nice looking hostel, where the door was opened by a naked old man. Why do we seem to attract these crazy people?!?

Day 16 - 20/02/05
Got up and said farewell to the now clothed man before continuing the drive. After having a closer read of the Lonely Planet guide, began to wonder whether our trip to Townsville had been researched quite as well as it could have been. Discovered that not only can the sea be muddy in February (being the middle of the wet season), but it can also be full of stingers, and unless you are prepared to risk death by box jellyfish, full-body lycra suits (complete with gloves and hood) must be worn. Arrived safely in Townsville, much to Kenneth's disappointment - he had been hoping for at least a minor breakdown in the desert, just to add that element of danger to the whole Oz experience. Caught the afternoon ferry to Magnetic Island, where we stayed in a nightclub/hostel. After having been in the desert, it was wonderful to lie on the beach, cocktail in hand, watching the palm trees swaying in the breeze. I slept soundly, apart from waking up terrified as a man ran up and down the veranda yelling, "I'm going to kill you with my woomera!"

Day 17 - 21/02/05
Lazed about all morning, then walked to Picnic Bay and had delicious crepes and "best coffee" for lunch. Were followed back to the hostel by a small dog, and had to call the local dog catcher. Swam at the beach inside a stinger net (felt as if we were in a giant kiddy wading pool), then went for a horseride along the beach. Were even able to take the horses swimming - this had to be done bareback and wearing stinger suits. Caught the ferry back to Townsville, where we had dinner at an excellent place called the Brewery Cafe, where, as the name suggests, they brew their own beer. Sampled all the different varieties before returning to the hostel.

Day 18 - 22/02/05
Received a morning call from the diving company advising that our planned trip to the Great Barrier Reef that evening had to be cancelled due to boat troubles. Bugger. Spent the morning running about like madmen trying to find an alternative. Eventually found a trip leaving from Airlie Beach (about 400 km south of Townsville) that evening. Before setting out, decided to empty the water containers - as we were now out of the desert, there was no reason to carry around an extra 50 l of water. Upon opening the bonnet, I discovered that Kenneth had actually only filled up one of the bottles, rather than both as he had claimed to have done. When confronted, he calmly explained that most likely he had accidentally emptied the first bottle before filling up the second. This explanation did not strike me as logical or believable, and I think it far more feasible that he had just been trying to taste a little of that danger he so craved. That evening, we set out on our 3 day reef cruise. Until that day, I'd never known whether or not I was susceptible to sea sickness. It was not long until I discovered that indeed I was. Spent the best part of the night groaning and running out onto the deck for air. Felt sorry for poor Kenneth, who was sharing a room with me.

Day 19 - 23/02/05
Sailing was much less nauseating than the previous day, thanks to a kind Canadian who loaded me up with motion sickness tablets. Went snorkelling and saw lots of colourful fishes and coral.

Day 20 - 24/02/05
More sunbathing and snorkelling. Saw a Whitetip Reef Shark and a turtle. Played lots of Trivial Pursuit and consequently learnt lots of useless facts (e.g. Elton John was married on 24/02/84 - hurrah).

Day 21 - 25/02/05
Woken at the crack of dawn for our last chance to see the reef before heading back to town. Saw another 3 sharks whilst snorkelling. Meanwhile, Kenneth was taking an underwater naturalist (not to be confused with 'naturist') diving course. At least, that's what he claimed to have been doing when he returned to the boat with a slate covered in drawings of creatures resembling blobby dinosaurs. Arrived back in Airlie Beach (tourist central) in the afternoon. Kenneth was exhausted by the time we arrived at the camping ground, so I offered to blow up his air mattress for him. Was a little overzealous with the tyre pump, and blew it up just a little more literally than intended.

Day 22 - 26/02/05
Decided to put the accuracy of the fuel gauge to the test. Almost made it to our destination before the car shuddered then came to a complete stop. Thank god for the jerry can. Spent the night in Rockhampton.

Day 23 - 27/02/05
Drove through Gin Gin - Kenneth was most disappointed that he couldn't find a pub at which to purchase a gin. Continued to Bundaberg, where we visited the Rum Distillery. After the half hour long informative feature (barrage of advertisements), we had been so brainwashed that we were both left craving Bundy rum before the tour had even begun. Spent the night at Mon Repos Beach, where we went turtle watching. Were most fortunate to see not only little hatchlings bursting from the dunes and running down the beach, but also a mature turtle nesting.

Day 24 - 28/02/05
Had lunch in exclusive Noosa. Ate in a beachfront yuppie cafe, where I was very pleased to be served exactly what I had wanted - a trendily small tower of gourmet salad balanced on a ludicrously oversized plate. Continued driving to Brisbane, where we spent the night with cousin Mark and his two daughters, Mia and Matisse.

Day 25 - 01/03/05
Crikey! Went to the Glasshouse Mountains to visit the Australia Zoo, home of Aussie icon Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter. With the end of our trip fast approaching, we had to continue heading south after leaving the zoo. I admit that we may have seemed a tad odd driving through Brisbane in a beaten up buggy with Indiana Jones music blasting from the subwoofer, but I felt that the woman at the service station asking whether it was the ladies toilets I wanted the key to (as opposed to the mens) was unjustified. Attempted to get a few hundred kilometres closer to Sydney, but due to confusing street signs and wrong turns, only made it as far as ex-convict town Ipswich (practically a suburb of Brisbane).

Day 26 - 02/03/05
Drove to Armidale. That's about it.

Day 27 - 03/03/05
Last day of the trip. Stopped for photos at the Big Golden Guitar in Tamworth (our last big thing - hurrah!) Drove right through the Hunter Valley region without even stopping at a single winery - a great shame. And so, after 27 days, 10 626 km and a hell of a lot of money, we were back in Sydney.

Roadtrip Top 7 Creeks
7. Tin Can Creek
6. Sausage Creek
5. Dunducketty Creek
4. Dead Man Gully
3. Poison Swamp Creek
2. Accommodation Creek
1. Little Doughboy Hollow

Here I am, back in Australia. I had plans to write about the rest of my trip in Asia, but even the greatest of plans may not see an end. I will go as far as to say that I went to Bali for a night where I met my friend, the worm. But enough of him, for now my body is welcoming a new and more hideous illness, namely, chickenpox. My face resembling one giant blister, my job hunting plans have been put on hold in favour of activities involving far less human interaction. Am planning trips to some of Australia's forgotten wilderness in order to avoid the human eye for a couple of weeks - a beach house, my friend's farm & Australia's capital, Canberra (the latter being the most quiet and secluded of the three).
A brief rundown of events since returning to Sydney:
Was met at the airport by Colin & his sister, Claire. Drove to Claire's place for an emergency dose of vegemite on toast. Welcomed with presents and attacked by dogs at Colin's house. Welcomed by an unfathomably large pile of mail and shunned by my cat at my house. The next day was my welcome home party. Was fantastic to see my Aussie friends again, though a little overwhelming. Ate Aussie delicacies such as sausages and party pies and best of all, a giant chocholate mud cake, multiple pavlovas and an enormous tower of lamingtons covered in Australian flags (something I thought only the Danes did). At Tom's suggestion, I made everyone sing the Australian national anthem whilst I cut the cake. Between them all, they pretty much got all the words with minimal mistakes, so it wasn't too patriotically embarassing. Hilton was such a good sport about the whole Australia Day (now oficially renamed "Elena's Coming Home Day") affair, that he turned up adorned by a flannelette shirt, a realistic beer gut and an Australian flag T-shirt that he'd bargained with a Japanese salesman for. You can't get much more true blue Aussie than that.
Since the party, I've pretty much just been catching up with friends and cleaning my room. Have reformed since my days of junk hoarding - managed to throw out important items such as my childhood paper serviette collection, along with less important items such as my student bible.
And now, waiting, waiting, waiting.... waiting until I don't look like something that crawled out of a horror movie and can rejoin society.

And so, the first chapter of my life in Denmark has come to an end. Saying goodbye to friends and family was very sad, though to freezing temperatures and perpetual darkness less difficult. As the snow flew through the air outside, I sat in the departure lounge thinking nostalgically about my time in that cosy little northern country.
Danish classes and crazy guys who yelled, “Tomorrow never dies!” and told me that I must speak with all my teeth.
The ‘international club’ with our famous dinners, most often eaten at Peruvian, French or Italian time (thankfully, by the time I arrived in Denmark, Chino’s cooking skills had improved considerably since his first day in Denmark, upon which he attempted to make chicken soup by submerging a whole frozen chicken in a saucepan of boiling water & spicing it with salt).
Drinking too much cheap, cheap beer, on occasion followed by falling off my bike.
Painting Kamal’s apartment (hmm, is that where the entire 2 years went?)
Picking the dreaded cucumbers.
Cleaning the circus theatre alongside employees who consistently stimulated my intellect with questions such as, “Biology? - what the hell is that?”, “One of the actors complained about a dead cat smell wafting up from under the floorboards – can you go check it out?” and (drunkenly – at 9am or so) “Elena, why do you go ‘round in that sexy Madonna dress?” [shudder].
The extreme level of cleanliness and hygiene of Kitchen MP.
Missen raiding the kitchen after a heavy night of drinking and talking about the benefits of prostitutes with no teeth.
“The other Chino”.
Foxes, squirrels and deer (v. exciting!)
Struggling with pronunciation of the Danish ‘R’ (an ongoing battle).
Drinking beers at Nyhavn (ah – is there anything better?)

Will now steer away from all this reminiscence and return to the recounting of my journey. The first stop was Bangkok, where I was met by Kathy and Joerg. Fortunately, I arrived on a cool day – only 32 degrees (which was about 32 degrees higher than the temperature I was accustomed to). Even more so than the heat, I was particularly struck by the extreme noise level. After eating some delicious Thai food that night , I stumbled into bed (only to be struck with jetlag, insomnia, near heatstroke & disorientation a few hours later).
The next day we took a boat down the river. The boats are equipped with tarpaulins on the sides, so as to prevent any of the toxic water from splashing up onto the passengers. Kathy told me of a rock star who had to have multiple operations after crashing his car into the river and having various bacteria enter his brain. Upon hearing this, I was quite careful to open my mouth as little as possible during the ride.
Next we visited a wat (temple), the roof of which had a fantastic view over the city. From here, Joerg pointed out an area where a competition had taken place last century. The aim of this competition was to swing up to the tip of a tall pole and grab a bag of money with your teeth. “Hmm, that sounds rather dangerous”, I commented. “Oh yes, several people died”, came Joerg’s reply. Apparently, the first death gave no grounds for stopping the competition. Joerg derisively pointed out that death isn’t so scary when you’re going to be reborn anyway.
That afternoon was slightly unfortunate, with my wallet being stolen at the markets. I was most surprised to receive a call a few hours later from the lost and found office, advising that my cards, in fact, the entire contents of my wallet (bar the actual wallet & money), had been found. Cancelled credit cards proved to be a large and ongoing inconvenience, but luckily, my entire time in Asia is being spent with friends, so a large scale disaster was avoided.
After an overall enjoyable four nights in Bangkok, I said farewell to Kathy, Joerg and delicious Thai food (desserts with fried onions on top and all!) and flew to Jakarta, where I was met by Sarah and her husband, Andy. Have been living it up here in, as far as I’m concerned, a palace. Have eaten many a delicious meal and been enjoying the fine hospitality. Haven’t ventured out on any trains yet, and must admit am not particularly keen to do so after hearing that someone dies pretty much every day from accidents involving passengers sitting on the train rooves or similar. Andy assures me that Jakarta is incredibly overpopulated and traffic accidents are an effective method of population control, but I remain sceptical. Taxies are a safer method of transport, though crossing the road to get to them can be a bit dodgy – before Sarah got used to just walking out in front of oncoming traffic, her preferred method was to offer people money to help her across.
Strenuous tourist activities are currently on hold, due to my body’s difficulties in adjusting to the local fare. Will be heading home on 24/01. By the way, I was never here, though if you hear about it, it was fantastic & Sarah was very nice & everything was perfect and I am not writing this under duress.

Have just recovered from monstrous, day-long hangover following farewell party. Spent yesterday sprawled across the couch, stomach violently resisting any attemps at food consumption. Leaving Denmark in four days. Looking forward to being able to go outside wearing less than 10 kilos of clothing. Am in the process of trying to find a cheap flight from Bangkok to Jakarta, though am sceptical of sites offering cheap 'aertikets to Ingland'. Don't forget my party - 26th Jan. at Colin's place. See you all soon.

Yay. Tomorrow I get to eat the 1st chocolate on my advent calendar - v. exciting. have extended stay slightly - leaving 9th Jan., going to visit Kathy in Bangkok for a few days, heading to Jakarta to visit Sarah, going to Bali or similar to expose my overfed, undersunned body to repulsed natives & then arriving back in Sydney on 25th Jan. This is all assuming that I remember to pay for my flight ticket.

Hello all,

Living it up here in Dk. Unfortunately nothing of interest to report, just thought I should write in my diary as it's been a while. Am still cleaning the same office as before, as well as the boss' house, just for a few extra crowns a week. Fortunately the 3 old drunkards/weirdos I used to have to work with are finished for the season, so I don't have to put up with slurs of "Oh Elena, why do you always wear that sexy Madonna dress?" or people asking me to go and investigate the dead cat smell wafting out from under the floorboards. Am going to be starting some uni prep. science classes either this week or next month. Have booked a plane ticket home via Indonesia to see Sar. Should be getting home on 16th Jan. - unless I discover that I have copious amounts of cash, in which case I might extend my stay in Indonesia a week or 2. Yep, that's about it. Looking forward to seeing you all.

As usual, forgot to write about something in the last blog & will give a brief overview of June's Roskilde Festival now. Ate lots of terrible food eg. cold frankfurts & stale bread. Showered once in 8 days & was rudely photographed by Daniel while making an attempt at personal hygiene by shaving my armpits outside the tent. Worked in the parking lot in order to get a free ticket. Only encountered a few crazy people, amongst them an incredibly stoned couple who couldn't remember where they'd parked their car & wanted us to help them somehow, a guy who couldn't afford a ticket and absolutely could not understand why they wouldn't let him in for free & a Swede who was quite convinced that I was directing him to a hash stall rather than the car park exit. Saw some great & some amusing bands, including Metallica (obviously they fall into the second category), Beth Gibbons from 'Portishead', Asian Dub Foundation, Iron Maiden, Melvins, Tomahawk, Blur, The Cardigans, Queens of the Stone Age, Massive Attack & Björk. All in all, a great festival.

I think I forgot to mention in the last entry that I saw Nick Cave in London - Twice! (7th & 8th June). The first night I was sitting next to two middle-aged Aussies who had been fans right from the days of his old band, The Birthday Party, and had seen him many times when he used to play in a pub in Brisbane which had disco on one floor, piano music on another and punk bands in between. The band's set was fantastic and included a lot of old songs, some which I'd never seen live and were wonderful such as 'Christina the Astonishing' (which was dedicated to Blixa, who was in the audience that night). The second night was even more incredible, basically because I had a 5th row seat and was therefore able to run to the front when the band came on stage. Nick danced on my hand & hit me (accidentally, of course) with the microphone cord. Was the Boatman's Call tour all over again. Yes, apart from seeing Nick, had a great time in London. Stayed with Mat Ho again & did more bumming around his place than actual sightseeing but that was fine with me. We did make it to Camden markets amongst a couple of other places.

As for everything else...

I have a part-time job as a glorified dish pig in a restaurant in a fun park in the middle of the deer park. Most of the job involves scraping cream potato and fried eel remains into the garbage bin but it's really not so bad. The people are friendly, I get to practice my Danish, I get free dinner & beer & best of all, I get money. It's in a really beautiful area. To get to work I ride through the forest, down the coast and through the deer park.

Sarah Holmes from high school has just been staying with me for a few nights, which was really nice. Didn't actually show her any sights - think I'm a bit over doing the tourist thing in Copenhagen. Having said that, I'm going to a museum tomorrow...) I did show her a copy of the Little Mermaid in my language school, which has to be worth something. After all, it is an 'official' copy. Speaking of language school, am going back in late August. Will hopefully get another part-time job before then. Have applied for supplementary uni courses in chemistry, physics & maths & hope to start them in October.

That's about it. Oh yes - coming home! It's not definite yet but I've found a ticket which may be my best bet (hard to get a ticket at the end of the year - all the bloody Aussies want to get home for Christmas & all the Europeans want to escape the hideous cold up here). Have reserved the ticket & if I buy it, will be home a couple of weeks into January. So save me some Christmas champagne!

I got my Danish passport today! Hurrah! it doesn't expire until 2013! Hurrah! I think I'm lactose intolerant & anaemic! Damn. I was wondering why I felt ill after eating yoghurt for breakfast every day and the answer finally dawned on me after drinking a glass of chocolate milk and feeling unbelievably nauseous. As for my constant lethargy of late, I'd assumed that I had become really addicted to coffee - to the point where even drinking 3 cups in a row didn't make me feel any more alive.

Apart from all that, I'm lying around enjoying the good weather here. At least I was until it started raining all the time a few days ago. Have being trying to keep up my Danish through reading etc., as I finished the main part of my course a few weeks ago. The exams went very smoothly & now I don't have classes again until the end of August.

I had a job... until I quit it after 1 day. It was a really shite telemarketing job which involved calling people in England, lying to them heaps & then trying to make them so scared that they wouldn't say no when you casually yet firmly mentioned that you were going to send them a 'small' package of lighting tubes & who should you make the bill out to? The company also had some great sales techniques figured out like rambling more bullshit lies at the the poor people on the other end of the line & then saying "right?" at the end of the sentence. The theory is that once the person has said "yes" about 5 times, they're in such a trance that they'll say it again when you tell them that they're buying something.

After telling the manager that I didn't feel morally comfortable in such a job, I went out and looked for another in the nearby theme park (the oldest in Europe or the world or something, apparently). Found myself a much more honest part-time position washing dishes & something else (could have been frying... my Danish isn't perfect & I didn't want to make the fact even more obvious by asking the woman to repeat). I have a trial for that in July, after I get back from the Roskile Festival, which I'm going to on Sunday. I'll be working in the car park again, with 2 friends this time. I pray that I'll be as lucky as last year & nobody will piss on my tent.

Hello again, I feel ill from eating too much sweet, sweet Cadbury Dairy Milk chocolate & too many Tim Tams, both of which were kindly provided by Colin's family (thank you!), along with amongst other stuff, an Aussie phrasebook, in case I'd forgotten how to speak Australian. Turns out that I'd never actually learnt it properly in the first place... did anybody else know that a drink used to seduce women is called a 'leg opener' or that toilet paper is referred to as 'poo tickets'? Some great Aussie names are also mentioned - Bazza, Kezza, Johnno, Muzza, Gazza, Tezza, Kazza, Shazza. Oh dear. Come on you Aussie...
So apart from immersing myself in the great Australian culture, I've been looking into doing a biology degree here in Denmark. Is still in the earlier stages of investigation, but will hopefully have a clearer idea of whadz gaan-on soon. The semesters are all crazy like over here anyway, so if I do start uni here, it won't be until next September. still planning on returning this Nov./Dec. though. As for jobs, the latest hope is an ad that I saw in the paper today, "English native speaking (hmmm) sales consultants.... if you speak fluently English (again I say, hmmm)......... call already today (hmm, should I have called already? Before I saw the ad or what? or maybe they were just using cool American lingo - 'Like, call already! Today!)" Sounds like they desperately need English speakers, if their lousy ad is anything to go by. I called & spoke to a lady who asked where I was from, as my accent was perfect. Nice to have my accent useful for something rather than it being a hindrance, such as it is in my Danish class (my teacher told me today that she has no criticisms & I can continue to the next level - but my pronunciation is a little Australian. Hmph. I'd call that a criticism.) Back to the point (what was it again?). Yes, I'll know more about the job after speaking to a guy who's meant to contact me. Not that harassing people to buy things sounds like a great career, but money would be nice.
What else.... celebrated my 22nd birthday a few weeks ago - gah, am getting hideously old. We went to the beach (needless to say, there was absolutely no swimming), had a picnic, smoked apple tobacco from a huge water pipe which Kamal had just brought back from Egypt & then went back to the kollegium & ate layer cake.
Next month, I have 2 Nick Cave concerts in London (eeeeee!!!!!!!!!!) + Roskilde Festival (at which Björk is playing!) to look forward to. I'll be working in the car park again at the latter, along with a couple of friends. Hopefully there won't be the same weird/scary wanna-be army guys helping out in the car park this year. They're all misfits who weren't accepted into the army & have formed some military resembling group instead. Basically, their most important task is looking after car parks at festivals. They turn up clad in full army gear, complete with army issue coffee mugs & pocketknives (just what you need for those rough, festival conditions). Last year there was one guy who spend the entire week-long festival in the car park workers' tent & in the car park - even though he only needed to be there for a total of 24 hrs. & had a free pass to the festival. His work was carried out with all the solemnity & concentration appropriate for a serious military operation. What a deadbeat. That's about it for now. Congratulations to everyone who graduated from uni recently. And here I am, still not having started.

Greetings from a warm(ish) country up north. Ah, finally - the sun I've been waiting for. The days are steadily getting longer, though we're not up to the only a few hours of darkness period quite yet. It's a Friday night & I'm sitting at home drinking chamomile tea while most of the people from my kitchen are out at a Uni ball meeting the queen. Hmph. Am now extremely close to achieving my initial goal - have applied for a 10 yr. Danish passport & should receive it in a fortnight! I thought the whole thing was going to hell when I couldn't understand the very first sentence that the office lady said to me in Danish ( I swear she had a strange Jutland accent...) Could have been dodgy, as one of the conditions of my getting the passport is that I have to speak Danish. However, was all ok - I understood after she repeated it a couple of times. Phew. Similarly, I went & asked a guy about a job in a Greek restaurant the other day, but didn't understand the first sentence he was saying due to his heavy Greek accent. After a fair amount of pushing, speaking Danish in order to demonstrate that I could, telling the guy that I was a mountain climber (only a slight exaggeration), am strong, etc. etc., convinced him to let me have a one ady trial as kitchen assistant. Asked what time I should come in - "I can first be here at 1 pm". "Ha, we open at 11 am! You can't make it". He looked so satisfied, the smug, sexist git. Can't say I'm overly disappointed at not being able to be in his employ. Tomorrow night is the annual party at my old kollegium again. This year, my birthday's the day after, so I get to spend it hideously hungover - hurrah. At least can use one of my favourite Danish expressions - "Jeg har tømmermænd" (I have a hangover). One of the first phrases in my Danish textbook. Highly important in Danish society. Learnt an even better word the other day though: a slang word for a bottle opener is a "samfundshjælper" (LIT.= society helper). Another one is a dustball, a "nullemand" (rough lit. translation = a squashy, yukky man).

Arghhhh, damned Microsoft Word. Surely it is the work of Satan. How can you tell when you've been using Word too much? When you make a mistake in everyday life, your brain automatically thinks 'Ctrl+ Z'. Am never ever going to use a template again as long as I live. Never!

So, aside from formatting problems, everything's just dandy. Looks like I'm going to be here for a little longer than expected, as the university entrance test that I want to take before I leave is state controlled & only held twice a year, the next one that I should be able to sit for being in November. Hopefully will still make it back in time for a sweltering hot Australian summer.

Spring, at last! Strangely, last night (on the day of the Equinox), my dreams were filled with snow.

Yesterday I discovered yet another strange Danish tradition. As I was leaving for school at 7:30am, I heard loud screaming & assumed that it was dedicated students protesting against the war. However, what I saw upon rounding the corner was people running about chaotically, blowing trumpets and throwing minature bread rolls at one another. I spent the whole day quite puzzled, and only later discovered that this was an Equinox tradition (this version particular to my kollegium).

Apart from that, nothing spectacular is happening here. Colin left a couple of weeks ago & is now happily sunning/intoxicating himself back in Oz. How I long for a VB... We had a bit of a party for him before he left and then went to the annual marathon bar at my old kollegium, where after only a few minutes of dancing/thrashing to a live metal band, Colin & I had managed to scare all the soft Danes off the dancefloor. I think I also elbowed Colin in the ear... thankfully he was too drunk to really mind, as was I when I smashed my hand into the stair rail some hours later. These marathon bar things are dangerous.

Well, enough procrastination - it's verb conjugation time again.

Blixa Bargeld has left Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds to persue other interests.

Oh, happy day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M GOING TO SEE NICK CAVE IN LONDON ON 7th JUNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- "It's a wonderful life, if you can find it" - Nick Cave

Stupid html codes. Grumble grumble. Gave up on tripod & resorted to blogger. Just wanted to post this great SMH bit on Pauline Hanson (who, to my horror, has moved to NSW & is running in the elections) :

Ms Hanson rejected criticism that she knew nothing about NSW politics.

"I'm not a boat person; I do live in this country," she said.

Hello,
Will be a brief update as about to be picked up. Is by an Italian though, so could be any time between now & next Monday. Finally got the internet in my room - hurrah. Am living in another kollegium now - further north & virtually in the middle of a forest. If lucky can see cute little squirrels jumping in the trees outside the kitchen. V. excting. Last week I went to stay with Kathy in Aachen, Germany for 4 nights. had a great time, mainly just slobbing about, talking & cooking tofu. We did get in some sight-seeing though. Saw some smelly sulphurous Roman baths & some of the town. On the last day, we drove to the point where the boarders of Germany, The Netherlands & Belgium meet. Was a very strange concept to put my hand in 3 countries at once. We then went to Belgium & I drank some tasty Belgian beer. I was quite confused driving through Belgium, as the signs kept switching between German & French as we passed through towns, so I was never sure whether or not we'd crossed the German boarder again. Here's an update from Colin:

Hey everyone, whats going on,

its been a hectic sort of week or so...left Barcelona
with no real aim in mind, met another interailer on
the train, Emily from America, so we've been going
crazy on the trains, in three days we went
Barcelona-Cerbene (on French-Spanish
border)-Strausburg-Zurich-Vienna-Rome-Genova, just
going wherever the trains were going, got some nice
green in Zurich, but then had to give it to the
Italian police at the border....oh well....Stayed a
couple of days in Genova, crazy city, very steep, lots
of stairs and stuff....ate plenty pizza, bought nice
new Austrian army jacket, then Milan, more pizza, too
much wine, we just made a train to Amsterdam, now been
here for a couple of days, head off tomorrow or the
day after, Berlin then Krakow, hopefully further East,
but we'll see, my plan to spend heaps of time in
eastern Europe is being thwarted by the ease of
getting trains around western Europe, anyhoo,

seeya

the Dread Pirate Rogerson
Lord of the High Seas
Queen of Australia

On 27/12/02 (exactly a year after my leaving Australia), I at long last made it to France. Despite managing to forget the pin numbers for both my Australian bank accounts, the week started off well, arriving in Paris to a delightful 13 degrees (and I don’t mean that sarcastically - Denmark was, at the time, around the minus 5 mark). Caught the train to Saint Nazaire, Brittany, where I stayed with Pierre, along with Tine & Chino (from Denmark). We stayed for the week in Pierre’s father’s apartment, which was situated right near the beach & harbour, with a close to 365 degree view. Had an incredibly relaxing week; walking, eating brie & baguette, drinking cider & practicing making that French nasal sound. Tried to refresh some of my French using a book that had an interesting conversation about how somebody’s grandparents were coming over on the weeekend, so they had to wash the living room walls (naturally... that’d be the obvious thing to do -?) And this was after having just been reading a Danish culture book which discussed how Danes don’t like to wear sexy clothing & will most often just wear jogging clothes or raincoats. How have I been here for almost a year & not noticed this?
New Years was excellent. We had a party at Pierre’s, during which we ate lots of good food & drank a lot. Unfortunately, my drinking came to an abrupt halt when I realised that I had developed the same alcohol related rash-like thing on my face as the one I got after my 8 day drinking spree before leaving Australia. It was probably for the best.
On 03/01/03, I left for Paris, where I stayed for 1 night & did nothing notable. Glimpsed the Eiffel Tower (which I found quite ugly & unimpressive) & Notre Dame, but hastily retreated from both due to masses of tourists. On 03/01/01, I visited Jim Morrison’s grave, which unbeknownst to me, was also a popular tourist attraction. The rest of my day’s plans for a long walk around Paris were spoilt by a sudden snow storm which caught me off-guard & saturated me in a matter of minutes. However, the worst (& far far worse at that) was still to come. Due to snow, my plane that evening was cancelled. I was offered a possible seat on a flight 13hrs later - if indeed that flight wansn’t cancelled as well. And so, I spent an exciting night camped out on the airport floor, being reminded of the Roskile Festival as I pathetically sat on the ground clutching a bottle of cider amongst the masses of bodies. Luckily, I did make it onto the plane the next morning, after forcing my way through the hundreds of other unfortunates whose flights had also been cancelled.

And here, to completely change the subject, is a nice quote from the Sydney Morning Herald, apparently in retaliation to The Copengahen Post's slagging off of Prince Frederik's Australian fiance, Mary:

"What we want to know is whether this Prince Fred character is good
enough for our Mary, a hard-working, down-to-earth eastern suburbs girl.
Here is a man who picks up women in Sydney bars by baring his hairless
chest at them. Here is a man better known for his tattoos, his chain
smoking, his diving naked into pools in French palaces and his dating of
wannabe pop stars than he is for his princely behaviour. We can only
hope he shapes up in time for the wedding."

Yep, sounds like a Dane to me. Thanks for the quote Marion - much appreciated.

Me being lazy again... here's a report from Colin instead:
Morning Everybody....

How's everyone going?, I hope you all had good
Christmas New Year thingy parties and such.....

Its got rather cold here, not really surprising
really, but there you go, It snowed on the 2nd, and a
bit more since then as well, so now its very white in
places, and very filthy and brown and slushy in
others. Lots of fun for riding around in, speciallly
when I pinch Elena's mountain bike. My 25 year old
ladies bike doesn't hold on the slush quite as well as
her big fat tires....still, in a way its more fun on
my bike coz theres a bit more sliding.....All the
lakes and such are frozen here too, which is cool.
There's a soccer field near us which is very poorly
drained, so is always covered in water, which is now
frozen, so people go skating on it, not now though
coz its covered in a foot of snow so you can't see
where the ice is.......

anyhoo, other than staying inside, I'm not up to much
at the moment............looking forward to traveling
around soon ,then coming home. Still not sure exactly
when I'll have a party.....that dependsa bit on you Mr
Watson, and when you're going of to the wild west, let
me know what your plans are, and assuming that Mr
Watson ignores my request like he did last time, maybe
Mr Scott or Mr Whitford or anyone else who sees him
might give him a gentle reminder......

OK Seeyallater

the Dread Pirate Rogerson
Lord of the High Seas
Queen of Australia

P.S. There have been certain parties questioning my
claim to the queenshipness of Australia, anyone else
who has a problem with it may wish to join Mr Allen in
challenging me to a dual at the abovementioned party.

thanks for fixing my web page Hilton! I just love the cutsie little footprints & the bit about me being well nice.