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Australia Road Trip # 3 - Elena, Romi & Eun-Ju

Day 1
After staying up all night finishing my last uni assigment for the year, at 7:30am I was half delerious and ready to embark on our journey. The day's hightlight was a brief stop at Woodstock Hotel (which despite the name, had more no free love and dope, but rather, local yokels who for some reason found Romi extremely humorous). Finally, we arrived in Grenfell, once home to Henry Lawson - the town's one claim to fame. Too tired to pitch a tent, we instead opted for a cheap motel with "tasteful" 70's decor and a cynical, world-weary owner who sarcastically informed us that Grenfell was the most exciting town west of Sydney. For dinner, the most viable option was the local Chinese restaurant. Assurances by Romi and I that this was an authentic Australian experience were met by Eun-Ju with scepticism, but we all enjoyed the meal regardless.

Annandale

Woodstock Hotel

Day 2
The flat tyre we discovered in the morning was but a minor setback, and we were soon on the road again. The day's activities included lunch in the self-proclaimed "Shire of Bland" and yoga outside the public toilet block in Rankin Springs, the latter which was met with odd looks from passers by. We set up camp for the night in Balranald - it took us a mere hour to get the tent pegs sufficiently deep in the rock hard ground, a feat which was only achieved once we resigned ourselves to the fact that we would have to find someone in posession of a mallet. Before bed, Eun-Ju and I went for a walk in town, where local youths, who appeared to be no older than twelve, rode up and down the street making passes at us.

Public toilet - Rankin Springs

Day 3
In the light of day, we came to notice that the town was being taken over by frogs; they were everywhere, stealing trolleys of food from the supermarket, wheelbarrows from the hardware store... We went to the local RSL (another not-to-be-missed authentic Aussie experience for Eun-Ju) and stuck around for the Melbourne Cup, for which Romi picked the winning horse. After purchasing a fly net hat to complete the tourist look, we left the town and headed to our first planned destination - Mungo National Park. Upon arrival, we picked out a campsite in an open, windy area just metres from the shelter of a large mulga tree; a decision we regretted greatly that night when our tent very nrealy blew over.At sunset, we decided to take a stroll through the beautiful park to the visitor's centre a couple of kilometres away. By the time we had begun to head back to the tent, it was extremely dark, and Romi became more than a little concerned when a passing park ranger stopped his car to warn warn us of nocturnal snakes native to the area. As we later discovered, the area is home to four of the world's top ten most deadly snakes.

Romi - Balranald

Mungo National Park

Day 4
Awoke to find one of our biscuits decidedly smaller than it had been the night before, but as everything else appeared to be intact, we thought nithing of it. Enjoyed a lazy morning before succumbing to the needs of our inner tourists and booking ourselves on a sunset tour with an Aboriginal guide who captured Romi's heart. After the obligatory didgeridoo (or yidakee) demonstration, we walked along the "Walls of China" sand dunes, where winds and rain have exposed ancient fireplaces containing animal bones dated tens of thousands of years old. Late that night, the furry culprit of the previous night returned to very audibly ransack the annex of the tent.

Eun-Ju

Roger

Mungo Lunette

Elena & Romi - Lake Mungo

Day 5

More evidence of the biscuit thief - another biscuit, still perfectly round, but again smaller than usual... Left the national park and journeyed to Wentworth, where the Darling and Murray rivers meet. It was quite hard to believe that this town had once seriously been considered as a contender in the search for the town which would become Australia's capital city. Under the pretense of practicing her English (a poor excuse indeed), Eun-Ju purchased Mills and Boon novels from the local Hardware store/op shop. We then spent the evening on the beautiful red sand hills on the edge of town, where we watched the sun set.

Elena & Romi - Wentworth

Day 6

The day was stiflingly hot, so we went for a swim in the surprisingly cold river before heading to Broken Hill.

Eun-Ju was excstatic about our decision to take the lazy option and stay in a caravan, an experience which she claimed made her feel like a movie star.

Romi & Eun-Ju - Wentworth

Eun-Ju - Broken Hill

Trailer Trash

Day 7

The extreme temperature continued. Upon waking, we peeled Romi of the vinyl mattress and ventured up the café atop the slag heap for a morning coffee. The rest of my day was almost identical to my previous trip to Broken Hill in March, so a photographic explanation will probably suffice...

Eun-Ju & Romi - Café on Slag Heap, Broken Hill

Royal Flying Doctors Service - Broken Hill

Mario's Palace Hotel - Broken Hill

Day 8

Drove to Silverton, a virtually abandoned mining town, where we saw art galleries and the old gaol, as well as visiting ye olde café and the famous Silverton Hotel. In the evening, we arrived in White Cliffs, another mining town which was once prosperous but today has very few mines and less than 200 residents, the majority of them living in underground dugouts. Unable to resist its tourist appeal, we checked in to the world's largest underground motel for the night, where the only other guests were a (slightly disturbing) couple from Campbelltown.

Silverton

Postman Pat - Silverton

Romi, Elena & Eun-Ju - Silverton Hotel

Hurrah, a pit stop!

Dugout - White Cliffs

Day 9

After a bit of fossicking in the mounds surrounding the hundreds of abandoned mines and a very quick drive through Wilcannia (with car doors locked), we stopped for the night in Nyngan, a sleepy but pleasant enough town situated on the banks of the Bogan River.

Day 10

Left the caravan park in the Bogan Shire and drove to Sydney's own boganville, the Central Coast, where we spent the night.

Day 11

Back to reality and Sydney traffic jams after a fine holiday.

2006 Australia Trip - The Second Attempt

Thursday 16.02.06
There are a number of subtle differences between Danes and Australians. One is culinary; whilst the typical Dane indulges in such delights as ammonium chloride coated licorice and liverwurst, the average Aussie prefers to eat nauseatingly large cuts of meat and a thick, black, salty paste which no foreign bugger would touch. Whilst Carsten had long since learnt to stay away from Vegemite, he was until recently unaware of the existence of another cultural difference - punctuality. This became apparent when, after I had nominated 9:00 as an arbitrary time of departure, Carsten was actually up and ready to go at 8:20 (while I was still in bed).

Approximately two hours later, with the worst of the rust scraped off faithful Doug the Bug, we were on the road.
Later in the afternoon, we arrived at Wagga Wagga - a town I had desired to visit solely for its humorous name. Fifteen minutes in this town proved to be enough for both of us, so we drove on to Nerrandera, a small town with friendly locals, where we camped for the night.

Friday 17.02.06
Emus spotted: 6
No. of times Carsten forgot to put the petrol cap back on, resulting in it falling off and narrowly missing being run over by a road train: 1
No. of blank looks from Carsten upon being spoken to by locals with thick Aussie accents: innumerable
After being woken by a flock of squawking galahs, we continued on our drive west.
We had only covered approximately 200 Km of scrub before the car rapidly began to lose speed as the engine overheated. We pulled over at the nearest truck stop and were immediately greeted by a hungry swarm of aggressive insects. As they began to overwhelm us, we prayed that the engine had cooled sufficiently and decided to get the hell out of there.
Stopped for lunch in a lovely picnic spot in Mildura where a man appeared to be bathing his horse by tying it to his boat and making it swim behind at he circled around the lake. It was quite a spectacle to behold.
By sunset we had arrived at our outback destination, Broken Hill. Our entertainment options there seemed to be limited to a) joining the local girls in standing outside the overcrowded pub and singing along with the cover band or

b) hanging out with the boys at Hungry Jack's and trying to look tough. We opted for going to sleep instead.

Saturday 18.02.06
After visiting the Pro Hart gallery, we drove up the slag heap to drop Carsten down a mine. Well, drop him off for a mine tour, to be more accurate. Went for a wander down the main street; being past midday on a Saturday, it was now almost completely deserted. Tumbleweed would not have looked out of place. Ducked in to Mario's Palace Hotel, where Pricilla Queen of the Desert was filmed, for a quick beer. I was their sole customer.
Met up with Liz, a friend from Sydney, before picking up Carsten and driving to the café on top of the slag heap. Afterwards we returned to the camping ground, which we had intended to leave in time to make it to the sculpture park before sunset. However, our generous neighbours' offer of food and wine delayed us somewhat. Consequently, by the time we were leaving the sculpture park, it was exceedingly dark. After having unwittingly strayed from the path, we thought we were going to have to spend the night under the stars with the kangaroos. Fortunately, however, we managed to find the car and went to town to celebrate - to Hungry Jack's, to hang out with the cool kids.

Sunday 19.02.06
Drove along a remarkably bumpy road to Silverton. Once a prosperous mining town, it is now virtually deserted, kept alive only by the tourists who pass through to visit the art galleries and have a drink in the famous Silverton Hotel, where Mad Max II, various other movies and dozens of beer commercials were filmed. Though situated only 25 Km from Broken Hill, it has the feel of being in the middle of nowhere, with small corrugated iron buildings scattered amongst the dust and camels ambling along the main road. After having a Devonshire tea, followed shortly afterwards by a cold beer, we thought we should stock up on supplies in case of a breakdown, so purchased tins of Silverton Road Kill* before returning to Broken Hill, where we visited the Royal Flying Doctors Service. We then said goodbye to the mining town for good and headed south to Adelaide.

* Silverton Road Kill - the freshest road kill in Western NSW. Hand picked from the Silverton Road each morning at dawn before the flies get to it. May contain any of the following - rabbit, lizard, goat, roo or donkey. You may find the odd piece of auto paint or bitumen as it is hard to remove it all prior to canning. Great served with vegetables or salad. Warning - eating the contents may result in bad breath.

Monday 20.02.06
After visiting the Aboriginal cultural centre, we embarked on our long awaited wine tasting tour of the Barossa Valley. Fortunately for me, Carsten does not drink and was thus able to take on the role of designated driver.
In the evening, we met up with two Aussie friends from Denmark, Tim and Thea, and their son, Jacob. Whilst trying to find them, I demonstrated how truly awful my sense of direction is by asking passers by for directions to Red Square. This request was met with puzzled looks and it was not until later that it occurred to me that I was in fact meant to be going to Henley Square; Red Square, I realised, is where my friend, Emily, worked approximately four years ago - in Ireland.

Tuesday 21.02.06
Carsten went off to visit various museums while I spent the day on the beach turning my skin a healthy shade of red. By the end of the day, either the heat or holiday or a combination of the two seemed have affected Carsten's mental faculties severely, judging by his complete inability to recall the events of preceding days.

Wednesday 22.02.03
Spent the morning at the mechanic's, where no less than three men spent one and a half hours trying to open the jammed boot so that we could get to our clothing etc. Shortly after departing Adelaide for Narracoorte, the car stereo became temperamental and decided to stop working. As an alternative form of entertainment, I sang the Australian National Anthem and the Twelve Days of Christmas, whilst Carsten followed with renditions of old Danish folk songs, as well as a strange German song about a family of cocaine addicts.
We dined in a charming little restaurant in town before returning to the campsite.

Thursday 23.02.06
Set out along the Great Ocean Road, where we saw lots of pretty rocks with plaques to match.

Friday 24.02.06
Woke up at our waterfront campsite to a picturesque view of a small cottage surrounded by grazing sheep and a grand chestnut horse. Glanced away momentarily and upon looking back, the horse was proudly urinating and the bloated carcass of a cow was floating down the river. A change of the wind's direction confirmed that the cow had indeed expired some time ago. Carsten needed no convincing when I suggested that we got the hell out of there. On the way out of town, we saw that the mouth of the river was very close to the beach and decided to stop by the police station and suggest that a speedy recovery operation may be in order should they wish to save their holiday haven from becoming known as "Bovine Beach". After having been advised of the situation and discussing it with a colleague, the police officer returned to the front desk, gave me a look that suggested that I may have been some sort of sicko and said hesitantly, "You don't actually want to keep the cow - do you?"
That evening we arrived in Melbourne and found a campsite which was in a rough area and ludicrously overpriced, but to our relief, free of rivers.

Saturday 25.02.06
Went to Melbourne Zoo, where we spent a nice morning looking at fluffy animals before the city was hit by an enormous electrical storm, forcing us to huddle up next to the monkey enclosure for some time until the rain subsided.
Drove to the city for dinner, where I put on such a pitiful display with my reverse parking attempts that a man on the street actually came up and offered to park my car for me; an offer which I gratefully accepted.

Sunday 26.02.06
While Carsten went off gallivanting around town on another museum mission, I decided to check out Fitzroy, the "grungy" area of Melbourne. Adopting a 'when in Rome' attitude, I had lunch in a hip café before hauling myself off to an alternative clothing store, where I purchased an unusual pale fluorescent green vest-like garment with buttons that don't match up to the button holes.
Met up with Carsten and proceeded to funky St Kilda, where we lazed about next to the water watching the kite surfers before eating dinner.

Monday 27.02.06
Woke up early with the intent to make it to Canberra in the early afternoon. Spent the morning repeatedly driving up and down the same streets of Melbourne in search of a mechanic to give Doug the Bug a wheel alignment, then futilely searched for a shop that stocks (apparently unusual sized) Beetle tyres. By midday, we were finally leaving the city.
After stopping in Glenrowan for obligatory tourist photos of the giant Ned Kelly statue and a brief look at the museum, we refuelled in Wangaratta (I couldn't bear to pass by Nick Cave's hometown entirely) and then continued our drive along the dull Hume Highway.
Some hours later than planned, we arrived in Canberra, got lost and drove around in circles, as one is wont to do in this city.*
Eventually we made in to Lothlorian and Malcolm's apartment. Thankfully, Loth had made the sensible decision to start on the wine without us and therefore didn't seem at all concerned to have had to stay awake until our arrival.
* I was relieved to discover that I am not alone in finding Canberra's layout confusing. In his book "Down Under", Bill Bryson offers the following advice: "Don't leave your hotel without a good map, a compass, several days' provisions and a mobile phone with the number of a rescue service".

Tuesday 28.02.06
Although I had been determined to avoid all the standard tourist attractions of Canberra, for some inexplicit reason, I changed my mind at the last minute and, after driving to the top of Mt Ainslie to look out over the city, decided to accompany Carsten to Parliament House. Unfortunately parliament was not in session, so there was, in my opinion, nothing particularly interesting to see. I did, however, feel a certain sense of satisfaction knowing that Doug was parked just metres away from our honourable Prime Minister's workplace with a "Not Happy John" sticker on the back.
I left Carsten to continue sightseeing and did little more than driving in circles before picking him up again. We spent the evening playing Uno, drinking wine and generally being merry.

Wednesday 01.03.06
After breakfast, drove around in circles trying to find a mechanic. Both of these things seemed to be becoming almost a ritual. Fortunately, this time the car was fixed in under five minutes, and we were at last ready to return to Sydney.

Day 1 - 05/02/05
Woke up with a terrible hangover - postponed trip for a few hours in order to give brain a chance to recover. Eventually drove to Canberra where we stayed with Lothlorian. Em came over and the drinking resumed (hair of the dog). Against my better judgment, decided to share Loth's bed - was woken by raving drunk redhead at 3:30 am as she crashed onto the floor whilst trying to cross the room. Fell asleep again to the sound of hiccupping.



Day 2 - 06/02/05
Set off down the Hume Highway headed for Melbourne. Stopped for a Devonshire tea at the Dog on the Tuckerbox in Gundagai - didn't stay long for fear of having to listen to another round of true blue Aussie hits ("The Pub With No Beer", "Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport" etc.).
Unfortunately, I was unable to prevent Kenneth from reading the Lonely Planet guidebook's glossary, and the dropbear myth was dispelled (Dropbear - imaginary Australian bush creature, similar in faunal fiction status to the 'Womby-dog' (which has clockwise and counter-clockwise breeds)).
Further down the road, was slightly disturbed to see the Hume Highway Skydiving School - dozens of inexperienced skydivers leaping from planes directly above a national motorway.
Was even more disturbed by the road signs placed in the middle of nowhere (certainly not near any rest stops) giving helpful advice such as "Tired? Have a powernap NOW!"
Arrived in Wangaratta (Nick Cave's hometown) in time for dinner. Received some odd looks from passing motorists as I posed for photos in front of Nick Cave's primary school whilst wearing my Akubra hat.
Finally made it to Melbourne - almost the first thing we passed was "Sexyland Adult Superstore" - an enormous, brightly lit porn warehouse displaying a variety of blow-up dolls in the windows. Mmm, classy.
Found a semi-seedy backpacker hostel and crashed there for the night.



Day 3 - 07/02/05
Melbourne - shopping, trams and cafes. Had tea at Hollie's place, met cousin Kellie for coffee, then drove to Geelong (a pathetically short distance, but wanted to feel that we were covering ground). We arrived at the caravan park after closing time, but had been instructed over the phone to just head up to the manager's residency to check in. Apparently the manager had not been expecting us, as after we had been knocking on the door for a fair while, a door on the side of the house opened to reveal a lady sitting on the toilet with her pants around her ankles. "Oh, hello, can I help you?", she called out casually, as if everything were normal.
Well, what more would you expect from a state full of people who advise you to take powernaps in the middle of the highway?



Day 4 - 08/02/05
Set out along the Great Ocean Road. Stopped at all the mandatory tourist attractions, including the Twelve Apostles. The combination of heavy rain and faulty windscreen wipers left us with no option but to stop in Warnambool for the night. Abandoned all ridiculous ideas of tents and camp food and found a luxurious hostel and takeaway noodle bar.



Day 5 - 09/02/05
Drove the remaining stretch of the Great Ocean Road. Saw more touristy sights including a petrified forest and numerous blow holes. Spotted some wildlife - emus, an echidna, and, strangely enough, a herd of yaks.
Drove past Larry the Big Lobster - undoubtedly the highlight of our journey up until that point. I knew that my plan to look like a complete tourist had come to fruition when Kenneth made us pull over to photograph the monstrosity.
Stopped for petrol in a very sleepy town where the store owner implied that I look middle-aged by asking if I have had the car since new (my car is a '71 Beetle).
Continued driving, intending to reach Cape Jervis in order to catch the ferry to Kangaroo Island. Evidently we missed en exit somewhere, as we ended up in Adelaide. Guess you can expect that sort of thing to happen when you don't bother to buy maps.



Day 6 - 10/02/05
Decided to take the car for a final pre-desert service, as we'd been having trouble with the ignition. Turned out that the only problem with the ignition is that the key has to be turned a bit further than in normal cars. Didn't we feel stupid...
Went to a cafe overlooking Henley Beach, where we met up with two Aussie friends from Denmark, Tim & Thea, and their 3 1/2-month-old son, Jacob. Possibly overdosed on the coffee, as I ended up a little wired.

Day 7 - 11/02/05
Missed the morning ferry to Kangaroo Island, so went to a nearby winery and sampled almost all their products. Spent the remainder of the afternoon in a town called Yankalilla. A bumper sticker on a passing ute said it all: "Where the hell is Yankalilla?" The area seemed to have a rather odd way of combining health food stores with other stores - in a short space of time we passed both a "Furniture and Health Food" store and "Gymnasium, Health Food and Kites" store.
Caught the afternoon ferry and camped in Flinders Chase National Park, where there were plenty of kangaroos, wallabies and possums to keep Kenneth amused. It was not long before I discovered yet another hole in my ancient air mattress and resigned myself to the fact that another night was to be spent on the ground.



Day 8 - 12/02/05
Spent the best part of the day looking for cute, furry animals. When we weren't looking at the decidedly unremarkable "Remarkable Rocks", climbing the 511 steps to Prospect Hill lookout or watching sheep being milked at the local cheese factory, we were busy spotting koalas, wallabies, goannas and New Zealand Fur Seals.



Day 9 - 13/02/05
Woke up in Adelaide's Blue Galah Hostel thinking that we still had plenty of time to catch the free breakfast, only to be told that breakfast was over. At this point, we began to see a pattern forming. This was the fifth time that we had missed or almost missed something since arriving in Adelaide, despite the fact that we had allowed ample time. Was it that everything in Adelaide happened ahead of schedule? Or could it be that Adelaide was in a different time zone? Obviously, it was the latter. At that point I was reminded of the time in Thailand when we had advertised the fact that we were stupid white tourists by yelling "Happy New Year!" at 23:00 (midnight Malaysian time).
And so, a little later than planned, we set off for the Barossa Valley for some wine tasting. Several glasses later, we returned to the city and put ourselves and the car (Doug the Bug) on a train called The Ghan, and embarked on an 18 hour journey to Alice Springs.

Day 10 - 14/02/05
Arrived in Alice around midday. Too exhausted to drive, so decided to spend the night in the town. Found a gorgeous camping ground filled with kangaroos, rock wallabies, red dirt and a swimming pool. Finished off the evening with a couple of beers in the on-site tavern (could the place be an more ideal?) and went to sleep on a new, hole-free mattress.

Day 11 - 15/02/05
Started off the day with the "Aboriginal Dreamtime and Bush Tucker Tour". Attempted to throw a boomerang (without much success) and sampled witchetty grub (surprisingly tasty - not dissimilar to runny egg yolk). Refreshed after a some "spotted dog" damper and a cup of bush tea, we jumped back in the car and headed off towards Uluru. This was the Beetle's first real desert challenge. The car actually fared remarkably well. I, on the other hand, did not. As I had a terrible cold and wasn't feeling very well, I had taken a cold and flu tablet. Not sure if it was that or the heat that did it, but after a couple of hours of driving, I stepped out of the car and started having hallucinations of the road swirling around and being sucked into itself. Probably a good thing that we swapped drivers at that point. We arrived at Yulara in the afternoon and went to watch the sun setting over Uluru - a spectacular sight, as the rock changes from orange to red and then a greyish purple as the sun goes down.

Day 12 - 16/02/05
Had a relaxed morning lounging by the pool before going to see Kata Tjuta (The Olgas). Went for a short but exhausting walk through a gorge between the rocks - the view was stunning, but the 41 degree heat and flies unbearable. Saw what looked a lot like a human skeleton lying in a dry creek bed... Headed back to Alice, and became a little concerned following a conversation with a service station attendant, who had brightly asked us whether the Beetle had set on fire yet and told us about how they were notorious for this - she had previously owned one and the battery had caught alight. Arrived safely in the town (no fires broke out along the way) and got beds in a cozy hostel.

Day 13 - 17/02/05
The first thing we did after leaving the hostel was to purchase a fire extinguisher. The shop attendant confirmed what we had been told the previous night - he himself had owned several Beetles, ALL of which had caught fire. "Great cars though", he assured me.... Well, we'll see.
As much as we would have liked to have seen more of Alice Springs (especially 'Alice 24 Store Laundromat', which was listed in the 'Sights and Activities' section of the Lonely Planet guide), we were pressed for time and unfortunately couldn't stay, and set off again towards the Devil's Marbles. Kenneth tried to drive me insane on the journey by playing Romanian dance music.
Along the highway, we noted that the ratio of pubs to petrol stations was alarmingly high. It did, however, explain the number of hospitals that could be found along the same road.
Arrived at the Devil's Marbles and pitched out tents. The heat was insufferable, making sleep difficult.

Day 14 - 18/02/05
Upon unzipping our tents in the morning, we were engulfed by a swarm of flies. Took some quick happy snaps before getting the hell out of there. About 100 km down the road, arrived in Tennant Creek, where we pulled into the visitor's centre to have breakfast. It was then pointed out by Kenneth that I was driving in the garden rather than the carpark, and thus, a new rule was created: "Elena is not to drive before having her morning coffee". I felt I was in no position to object. Initially, we had been considering spending a couple of hours in the town, despite the write up it had been given by the Lonely Planet guide authors ("Many travellers spend a night here to break up the journey and see the town's few attractions", "About 7 km north of the Mary Ann Dam are the green-roofed stone buildings of the old telegraph station, even now looking as isolated and forlorn as they must have 100 years ago"). However, after a brief glimpse of the town centre, we decided to skip the few attractions and forlorn telegraph station and continued our drive.
Late evening, we arrived in Mt Isa - minin' country.

Day 15 - 19/02/05
Continued our journey east. Once again, Doug the Bug was mercilessly blown about by the wind (not a particularly streamlined car). Stopped for lunch in Julia Creek, home of the "Dirt and Dust Festival'. Had counter meals at the local yokel pub, where Akubra hats were mandatory attire. When I ordered a glass of water from the bar, the man next to me began laughing so hysterically that he was incapable of speech. Whilst Kenneth was captivated by the whole hicktown experience, I couldn't get out of there fast enough. As darkness approached, we decided that it was too dangerous to continue driving due to the risk of hitting kangaroos, so stopped in ex-mining town Charters Towers for the night. Found a nice looking hostel, where the door was opened by a naked old man. Why do we seem to attract these crazy people?!?

Day 16 - 20/02/05
Got up and said farewell to the now clothed man before continuing the drive. After having a closer read of the Lonely Planet guide, began to wonder whether our trip to Townsville had been researched quite as well as it could have been. Discovered that not only can the sea be muddy in February (being the middle of the wet season), but it can also be full of stingers, and unless you are prepared to risk death by box jellyfish, full-body lycra suits (complete with gloves and hood) must be worn. Arrived safely in Townsville, much to Kenneth's disappointment - he had been hoping for at least a minor breakdown in the desert, just to add that element of danger to the whole Oz experience. Caught the afternoon ferry to Magnetic Island, where we stayed in a nightclub/hostel. After having been in the desert, it was wonderful to lie on the beach, cocktail in hand, watching the palm trees swaying in the breeze. I slept soundly, apart from waking up terrified as a man ran up and down the veranda yelling, "I'm going to kill you with my woomera!"

Day 17 - 21/02/05
Lazed about all morning, then walked to Picnic Bay and had delicious crepes and "best coffee" for lunch. Were followed back to the hostel by a small dog, and had to call the local dog catcher. Swam at the beach inside a stinger net (felt as if we were in a giant kiddy wading pool), then went for a horseride along the beach. Were even able to take the horses swimming - this had to be done bareback and wearing stinger suits. Caught the ferry back to Townsville, where we had dinner at an excellent place called the Brewery Cafe, where, as the name suggests, they brew their own beer. Sampled all the different varieties before returning to the hostel.

Day 18 - 22/02/05
Received a morning call from the diving company advising that our planned trip to the Great Barrier Reef that evening had to be cancelled due to boat troubles. Bugger. Spent the morning running about like madmen trying to find an alternative. Eventually found a trip leaving from Airlie Beach (about 400 km south of Townsville) that evening. Before setting out, decided to empty the water containers - as we were now out of the desert, there was no reason to carry around an extra 50 l of water. Upon opening the bonnet, I discovered that Kenneth had actually only filled up one of the bottles, rather than both as he had claimed to have done. When confronted, he calmly explained that most likely he had accidentally emptied the first bottle before filling up the second. This explanation did not strike me as logical or believable, and I think it far more feasible that he had just been trying to taste a little of that danger he so craved. That evening, we set out on our 3 day reef cruise. Until that day, I'd never known whether or not I was susceptible to sea sickness. It was not long until I discovered that indeed I was. Spent the best part of the night groaning and running out onto the deck for air. Felt sorry for poor Kenneth, who was sharing a room with me.

Day 19 - 23/02/05
Sailing was much less nauseating than the previous day, thanks to a kind Canadian who loaded me up with motion sickness tablets. Went snorkelling and saw lots of colourful fishes and coral.

Day 20 - 24/02/05
More sunbathing and snorkelling. Saw a Whitetip Reef Shark and a turtle. Played lots of Trivial Pursuit and consequently learnt lots of useless facts (e.g. Elton John was married on 24/02/84 - hurrah).

Day 21 - 25/02/05
Woken at the crack of dawn for our last chance to see the reef before heading back to town. Saw another 3 sharks whilst snorkelling. Meanwhile, Kenneth was taking an underwater naturalist (not to be confused with 'naturist') diving course. At least, that's what he claimed to have been doing when he returned to the boat with a slate covered in drawings of creatures resembling blobby dinosaurs. Arrived back in Airlie Beach (tourist central) in the afternoon. Kenneth was exhausted by the time we arrived at the camping ground, so I offered to blow up his air mattress for him. Was a little overzealous with the tyre pump, and blew it up just a little more literally than intended.

Day 22 - 26/02/05
Decided to put the accuracy of the fuel gauge to the test. Almost made it to our destination before the car shuddered then came to a complete stop. Thank god for the jerry can. Spent the night in Rockhampton.

Day 23 - 27/02/05
Drove through Gin Gin - Kenneth was most disappointed that he couldn't find a pub at which to purchase a gin. Continued to Bundaberg, where we visited the Rum Distillery. After the half hour long informative feature (barrage of advertisements), we had been so brainwashed that we were both left craving Bundy rum before the tour had even begun. Spent the night at Mon Repos Beach, where we went turtle watching. Were most fortunate to see not only little hatchlings bursting from the dunes and running down the beach, but also a mature turtle nesting.

Day 24 - 28/02/05
Had lunch in exclusive Noosa. Ate in a beachfront yuppie cafe, where I was very pleased to be served exactly what I had wanted - a trendily small tower of gourmet salad balanced on a ludicrously oversized plate. Continued driving to Brisbane, where we spent the night with cousin Mark and his two daughters, Mia and Matisse.

Day 25 - 01/03/05
Crikey! Went to the Glasshouse Mountains to visit the Australia Zoo, home of Aussie icon Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter. With the end of our trip fast approaching, we had to continue heading south after leaving the zoo. I admit that we may have seemed a tad odd driving through Brisbane in a beaten up buggy with Indiana Jones music blasting from the subwoofer, but I felt that the woman at the service station asking whether it was the ladies toilets I wanted the key to (as opposed to the mens) was unjustified. Attempted to get a few hundred kilometres closer to Sydney, but due to confusing street signs and wrong turns, only made it as far as ex-convict town Ipswich (practically a suburb of Brisbane).

Day 26 - 02/03/05
Drove to Armidale. That's about it.

Day 27 - 03/03/05
Last day of the trip. Stopped for photos at the Big Golden Guitar in Tamworth (our last big thing - hurrah!) Drove right through the Hunter Valley region without even stopping at a single winery - a great shame. And so, after 27 days, 10 626 km and a hell of a lot of money, we were back in Sydney.

Roadtrip Top 7 Creeks
7. Tin Can Creek
6. Sausage Creek
5. Dunducketty Creek
4. Dead Man Gully
3. Poison Swamp Creek
2. Accommodation Creek
1. Little Doughboy Hollow